Still searching

Chapter 3

By the time Draco finished in the guest bedrooms on-suit bathroom, Harry was up and ready, twiddeling his wand in his hands. He somehow looked worse, his body thinner and paler.
“You look like a pile of shit.” Draco said bluntly.
“Thanks…I didn’t get much sleep…”
“Really? You were snoring like your life depended on it when i left you.” Draco smirked. Harry looked sadly at the floor.
“I…don’t sleep much these days…” He smiled sadly. “Anyway,” he said, his voice unusually a fake smile plastered on his face, “Want to go to the pub?”
“You are not going to the pub! How about we go to muggle London and have a walk in the park?” The blond asked softly. He knew how the boy felt; lost, numb, depressed. A walk in the park always helped him during rough times. Draco decided then and there that he would do whatever it took to make Harry happy again. He of all people, had been through enough pain. He didn’t hate Harry anymore, he could even say he was close to liking him.
“OK…” The raven haired boy answered, startling Draco out of his thoughts.

They apparated infront of The Leaky Cauldron and Harry looked longingly inside the small window where Weasley and Granger sat.
“No.” Draco steered Harry away. “Right, you must know muggle London, where is there a park?”
“There are parks everywhere, just start walking and we’ll soon find one.” Harry said grabbing a quick glance at the pub behind them.
That’s what they did. They started walking in silence and arrived at a park in a matter of minutes, they walked around the small lake, then got a coffee to go and sat under a tree to stop the sun from blinding them. It was a hot summer’s day and Draco regretted wearing a shirt, that clung to his sweaty chest, and black skinny jeans, Harry on the other hand wore a simple white t-shirt with light blue skinny jeans and white sneakers. They small-talked happily for a few minutes but Draco saw the sadness in the other boys emerald green eyes.
“Do you…want to talk about it?” He asked hesitantly.
“Talk about what?” Harry asked, looking out across the lake.
“Everything; the war, lost friends and family… Your depression.”
Harry winced but didn’t say anything for a long while. When he finally talked, he looked deep into Draco’s eyes. “I didn’t think you had noticed, none of my friends have.”
“I could tell from a mile away. That’s actually why i came to see you at the pub.”
Without warning, Harry collapsed into tears. He burried his head in his hands in shame and embarassment.
“I don’t know what to do! I just want everything to end but…I don’t have the guts, i didn’t survive all that pain to just hurt for the rest of my life. I keep seeing their faces. In my sleep, in my drink, everywhere. I have nightmares every night, always the same one: Voldemort telling me either i die or all of my friends die and i choose to live… He makes me watch them being tortured and then murdered, one by one. Even you were in there last night…”
Draco listened and watched him talk for a good five minutes. When Harry was done, still sobbing in his hands, Draco hesitantly wrapped an arm around the crying boys shoulders, when he didn’t flinch away, he wrapped his other arm around him and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Thank you for listening”Harry hiccuped after a long pause.
Draco didn’t answer, just squeezed the boy.
Harry fell asleep in his new friends arms.
Draco looked admiringly at the sleeping boy, he was a good looking boy even though he had red, puffy eyes and dark circles under them. The blond contently sat there, happy that he had found a friend, even if his new found friend was his worst ennemi in school, when a ginger boy came thundering up to them, a small brunette running after him.
“Weasley,  Granger, what a pleasure.” Draco smirked.
“What do you think you’re doing with our friend!” Weasley looked nearly as red as his hair.
“You’re ‘friend’ is sleeping, could you keep it down?”
“Who do you think you are?” Ron said but his voice was lower.
“I am someone comforting someone who has no friends left.”
“We’re his friends!” Hermione squeeked sadly.
“Oh yeah? If you’re his friends, how come you didn’t notice he’s depressed? Can you tell me that?”
“He’s sad! Not depressed! And anyway, what do you know about depression? Perfect, happy Malfoy!” Ron hissed.
“Because i have been depressed! Constante drinking, blocking everybody out, never happy… I’ve been through all of it!”
“Ron, he’s right!” Hermione’s eyes glistened with tears.”Harry is depressed and we didn’t even notice! We just thought we should leave him be to get the pain out of his system.”
“That pain will never leave.” Draco hissed.
Harry burried his head deeper into Draco’s chest in his sleep.
“Oh Ron! We’re horrible friends! Horrible friends!”
The ginger boy didn’t know what to say, he just patted his girlfriends arm.
“I hope you’re happy” Draco spat. “He’s gone mad, he’s always tired, he has nightmares of you dying every night and you do NOTHING!” He shouted this last word, Harry shot up and banged his head on Draco’s chin, the boy was shaking with rage now, angry tears threatening to spill down his soft white cheeks.
“Ow, sorry.” Harry mumbled, rubbing his head. He looked up and saw his friends standing over them, Ron red with shame and anger, while silent tears ran down Hermione’s face. “Oh. Hi guys.” He said avoiding eye contact with them. “Um,what’s up?”
“Oh Harry! We’re so sorry! We didn’t notice. We’re terrible friends! We’ll be  here for you from now on. We-”
“Hermione! What are you talking about?”
Harry turned to look at a sheepish Draco.
“I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to tell. They just made me so mad!”
Harry glared at the boy, then looked back at his friends. He opened his mouth then closed it and got up.
“Do you know what? I can’t deal with this right now.”
Draco, Ron and Hermione all watched Harry leave in shock.
“See what you’ve done?” Draco spat.
He got up and walked after Harry.
“What have we done?” Hermione whispered as she and Ron followed the blond.

Draco found Harry in the pub, sitting in his usual spot, a large glass of alcohol in his hands. He wasn’t drinking it, just staring into the yellowish liquid. He sat down opposite the boy and Ron and Hermione came over and hovered by the table, not saying anthing.
“You shouldn’t be drinking this.” said Draco softly.
“Why? Because it makes the pain bearable, because it makes me forget, even if it is just for and hour or two?”
“Because it’s bad for you, Harry.” said Hermione, a little desperatly.
“Because it makes everything ten time worse when i wears off.” Draco continued.
He prised Harry’s fingers off the glass and waved a waiter over. A young man came and took the glass. Draco got up and pulled Harry up with him and disapparated to Harry’s house in Godrics Hollow.
“Stay here.” He said and disapparated to his own house. He grabbed a couple of potions and went back to Godrics Hollow.
“Here drink this.” He said thrusting the first poting into Harry’s hands.
“What is it?” He said examening the bottle.
“Dreamless sleep, then take this sleeping potion. You’re not getting enough sleep, it’s bad for you.”
Harry didn’t ask questions, he just did as Draco had ordered him to do; he was exhausted anyway.
As soon as he drunk the seconde bottle, he collapsed.
“Right, i forgot how stong that potion was.” Draco mumbled. He lifted Harry into his arms and took him upsatirs. Harry’s head lolled on Draco’s shoulder, his mouth slightly open.
The blond layed Harry down on his bed and after five minutes of hesitating, took the boys clothes off. He pulled the duvet up to the sleeping boys chin and sat on the chair next to the bed he had transfigured from a lamp.


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